I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just A Little Unwell.

So, the past however long has been weird. I’ve lost track of time (like always) and just HOPE I can remember what all happened.
First I’ll say, Easter was a blast, the club was fun, Jamie’s birthday was epic. And the party was even better. I had helped Blair plan the whole thing since Christmas.
Jamie, Evie, Blair and I are all living together now. At the old Mathew’s house. Jamie’s my favourite though. She’s never sick or having pregnant times like Blair and Evie. All they do is be moody. I’m converting Two-bit’s room into my room. Its gonna be all decked out like Mickey Mouse and shit :D. Just because. But I’m thinking of running away to the Curtis’s and living as a refugee, like I used to when I was living with dad and Steve.
And I got little Blaze his first present. :D. It’s a little stuffed.. Thing. I think its adorable. His name is Ox.



I’ve even been trying to quit smoking for Blaze and my nephew and Soda and Katie’s babies. :D. it’s a shit hard thing but I’ve managed down to just 4 or 5 a day, depending if I’m with Travis or not. Oh speaking of Travis, he still lives in L.A. but he visits every other week to be with me. We’re right chill now. We had a little fight a few weeks ago. I called him, I yelled, he cursed. I cried, he apologized. But I hung up and cried myself to sleep. Next thing I know is I’m prying my eyes open from a deep sleep and he’s laying there. He looked so exhausted but he took my breath away. But he couldn’t stay too long. We talked for hours, laughed and cried. We got so close in those short hours. I couldn’t stand to have him leave when he had to. But we made love and he left me his beaten, old army green jacket in exchange for my over sized Hedley concert t shirt.

I didn’t cry when he got on the plane, because I don’t cry in public. But I went home and got Steve to take me hubcap stealing. Steve, I don’t think you know this but you’re the best big brother a Carson could ever ask for. The rest of the day Steve showed me quick ways to get the hubcaps off, break into cars without the alarms going off, and so on. You know Steve, I love it when we spend time just you and me. I feel like since Evie and I ran away with Seth we’ve drifted apart. I love you big bro, we used to be so tight when we both lived with dad. You protected me from his assholeness even if it meant getting you kicked out as well. It was a great day. I grew closer to two boys in my life that mean soooooo much to me. Or at least reconnected with darling Steve. XD I love you bro, don’t forget that.

I’ve started working at the Dingo. You know, to fill up my time and pay for shit I want and need. They make me wear a little pink thing and a hat. It’s great money, and the greasy kids that come in are fun conversation. It keeps me up with who’s going with who, who got arrested for what and why, who’s left their homes and so on. My first day training was basically out back, I learned how to carry things on big plates while wearing my roller-skates. (yea, part of my uniform is roller-skates. Epic, right?) Tim Sheppard’s outfit hangs out at the Dingo a lot more though. That’s cool, me and Curly are like BFF’s! (someone kill me for saying that.) I yell at Tim a lot because he doesn’t change his clothes as much as I would like. He just doesn’t seem to care about his hygiene like normal people. Even though he’s a shit broke greaser like the rest of us, and that I dig the kid, he needs to change his clothes. Just. Tim. Change. That’s all I want from your ass. And tell your gang to stop looking down my shirt. I don’t appreciate it much.

I took Cristy-Crunch to get her septum pierced. (no, not the one in your heart. On your nose.) she made me hold her hand. Haha. that’s ok, Jeff (piercing artist) is the shit and doesn’t care about that. While she was paying I talked to Shaun about my latest tattoo idea. He loves it. Have yall read Tupac’s poem “The Rose That Grew From Concrete”? Well, I want a rose that looks like its growing in, or beside some train tracks. The tracks representing our side of town, the rose; our gang. Society said we’d all grow up to be dropouts, criminals, drug addicts, ect. Well, the only real criminal is Dallas, and he ain’t THAT bad. Sure a few of us dropped out, but Soda did it for his family, Blair was only expelled. But look at Pony, Jamie, Jelly and Darry. Their goin’ places with their smarts. And everyone else, I’m sure will move mountains. Yall are good people. Don’t forget that. Your all beautiful and amazing in your own ways. And I never wanna forget you guys, wherever and however we end up. We’re all still alive and good, not innocent, but you know what I mean, right? Like the rose that grew from concrete; we had it rough, but we’re still together. We made it through the awkward stages of growing up, losing family, deaths of friends, jail time here and there, runaways, heart break. But we’re all good, and about to experience new family, new jobs, new homes. It’s gonna be fucking great and I can’t wait.

Now on a more depressing note. KitKat, Johnny and Jelly are in the hospital. And Brookie. They fucking jumped her and scared me shitless when she didn't come home. Fucking socs thinking their all great and whatnot. I swore I’d kill the son-of-a-bitches but I don’t know who the hell they are. Those fucking socs are gonna be killed. First Im taking the kiddies some good sugary food, then off to kill the socs. I’m taking a loaded heater and switch blade. I’ll call if I get jailed.

Carson.