i don't even know

Hey guys. It's Seth just to let ya'll know. Car leaves her username and password on my laptop because she's too lazy to type it in everyday, so that's how I'm writing this. I'm on here because Carson's in a coma. I wasn't gonna leave her the other night, but we really needed food and she hasn't been eatting much lately. (it was the day she found out about her mom) When I came back, she was tottally wasted. She said ever since she heard about Pony she wouldn't drink a drop of alcohol, and got rid of any trace we had (which was only a bottle of beer). I still don't know where she got all that booze, but I don't think I should worry about that too much right now.
Anyway, when I walked in she was rambling on and on about how no one gives a shit about her, that she ruined her brother's and father's lives and all that junk. She was also crying and screaming and throwing shit all over the place. I've never seen her act like that, I was so scared man. I tried to hold her down, but she punched me awful hard in the chest and left a bruise. I stumbled back and she grabbed a knife and I yelled at her to stop and tried to get it from her, but she stabbed herself in the chest.
Doc said she missed her heart, but pierced her left lung and lost a lot of blood. They patched her up real good but she's still out. I'm so worried man. I haven't slept at all. Carson might wake up again. Oh yea, I didn't mention she woke up at one point. It was only for 5 minutes and she didn't say anything, but her eyes where open and she was looking at me. Doctor says she probably won't make it, but she's a tough girl, she's just gotta wake up.. right?